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Quiz :: Questions to
Ask Yourself About a New Dating Partner
Mark the following
questions with a "y" for yes or an "n" for no.
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Can you say what
you like or admire about your partner?
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Is your partner
glad that you have other friends?
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Is your partner
happy about your accomplishments and ambitions?
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Does your partner
ask for and respect your opinions?
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Does s/he really
listen to you?
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Can s/he talk
about her/his feelings?
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Does your partner
have good relationship with her/his family?
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Does s/he have
good friends?
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Does s/he have
interests besides you?
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Does s/he take
responsibility for her/his own actions and not blame others for
her/his failure?
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Does your partner
respect your right to make decisions that affect your own life?
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Are you and your
partner friends? Best friends?
If you answered most of
questions 1-12 with yes, it is likely that you aren’t in a relationship that’s
likely to become abusive. If you answered no to some or more of these questions,
you may be in a relationship that has or will lead to abuse. You should be
careful and talk to your partner about these issues. Please go on to the next
set of questions.
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When your partner
gets angry, does s/he break or throw things?
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Does your partner
lose her/his temper easily?
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Is your partner
jealous of your friends and family?
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Does your partner
think you’re cheating on her/him if you talk or dance with someone
else?
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Does your partner
expect to be told where you have been when you have been you’re not
with her/him?
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Does your partner
drink or take drugs almost every day, or go on binges?
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Does s/he
ridicule, make fun of you, or put you down?
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Does your partner
think that there are some situations in which it’s ok for a man to
hit a woman or a woman to hit a man?
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Do you like
yourself less then usual when you’ve been with your partner?
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Do you ever find
yourself afraid of your partner?
 If you answered questions
13-22 with yes, you should be careful and think about ending your relationship
for your own safety. Your partner may not want to talk about the problem or
admit that s/he has a problem and needs to find ways of dealing with the
conflict without resorting to hurting others. It is more importing that you
leave the relationship alive with your self respect and no bruises or broken
bones!
{Developed by Family Violence Project, San
Francisco, and Battered Women’s Alternatives, Concord}
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